A True Trio of Transformational Tales

A True Trio of Transformational Tales
That Guy

Rosalyn's Sword - Inanimate

As another minute went by with no service headed her way, The Great Rosalyn: Thief-Slash-Adventurer Extraordinaire (as she liked to call herself when forced to bluff her way out of a tight spot) sighed and tried not to let her impatience show. Out of all of her companions, it was just typical that she - the impatient one who still had to force down the occasional amoral urge - would be the only one who needed to go on a weapon run (she told Meredith her tiny sword wouldn't survive a golem beheading, but no… it was all "use those ninja skills of yours and sneak up on it!" Whatever a hell ninja was…), and naturally she would arrive at the market when everybody was too busy to tend to her. People had a natural tendency to run right past her without even noticing she was there, its true, but while she was usually proud of this she had to admit it was only a lucky trait when one is thieving - not so much in situations like this. Here it was actually kind of irritating.

She supposed she shouldn't be so annoyed. After all, she was the only member of the party who didn't use heavy weapons or armor: as the dedicated (self proclaimed) master of stealth and guile, it was hooded clothes and leather armor or nothing (at least once, this happened literally - she really hoped the others would stop teasing her about that eventually). Was it their fault that she was the only one adept with light weaponry? She could let a few moments of forgetfulness pass. In truth, she knew she ought to be grateful that they gave her a chance and even befriended her in the first place, especially with her past - which, though she wouldn't admit it, was a rather textbook story: goodhearted but roguish thief meets band of heroic adventurers, and after catching her stealing once or twice they manage to convince her to give up her life of crime and join them in a heroic quest for justice. For glory! And so on.

"And now I'm helping take the fight to pirates. That's irony for ya," she mused, not realizing she was thinking out loud. Not that anyone was around to hear her anyway.

In any case she owed them a great deal. Still, she wished that just once - just once! - they would remember to stock up on something that wasn't a broadsword or a hammer… she scoffed and rolled her eyes, then caught herself just in case someone in the shop thought it was directed at them (that sort of thing had gotten her into trouble before). Luckily, despite there being nobody else in the store at all the owner was too busy barking orders at her two obviously overworked teenage assistants to pay attention to her. Again, typical. But she could wait.

In the meantime she spent a few minutes checking out the selection. The owner was surprisingly ambitious - this wasn't just a general store for adventurers, it was an absolute goldmine. The woman who ran the place was not only a skilled weaponsmith, but also an armorer, a top level mage and potion maker, an amateur cartographer and, judging from the amazing specimens all over the shelves, had an inside scoop on where to find the finest magical trinkets and artifacts. Her skill, at the very least, was worth the wait: nothing here was of low quality, and everything in sight was tantalizingly valuable.

Not that Rosalyn was about to rob the place, of course. Even if she hadn't put that part of her life behind her, the woman was a mage. With the threat of horrible magical vengeance (or traps) hanging overhead the only people who would steal from mages were masters and/or fools - and though Rosalyn was very confident in her abilities, thank you very much, she wasn't anywhere near fool to think herself that good.

Besides, she was a law abiding citizen now. She was perfectly content to wait for service and pay for her order… even if it was taking forever! Still, admiring the amazing selection wasn't a bad way to pass the time. She had never seen a Crystal of Ix up close before, or such a wide collection of talismans.

But while those were fascinating, what really drew her attention was the centerpiece hanging above the counter. It was hands down the finest shield she had ever seen. Elegantly crafted, yet seemingly sturdy. She was still guessing about what kind of metal it was made of, but it was beautiful - shiny and sleek yet strong. The designs on the front twisted beautifully around each other, and she could kind of make out an almost familiar symbol on the front… now that was craftsmanship. It reminded her of something, but she couldn't quite think of it (maybe a someone she once robbed…). She spent quite a while looking it over. If she wasn't only there for a weapon (heck, if only she was the kind to use shields in the first place)…

Suddenly, she picked up that one of the lines in the near endless tirade of shouting from the other side of the shop was about her. "What are you, stupid? Don't you see there's a customer waiting for you? Get over there you stupid lump!" One of the assistants - a young man - rushed over to her, ignoring the fact that only a second ago his boss had ordered him to do something completely different. She gave him points for not wandering his eyes - not that her cloak gave him much to stare at, but it didn't stop some idiots from trying.

"Um… hi," he started apologetically, though in Rosalyn's opinion he had nothing to be sorry for. "W-welcome to our store, what can I do for-"

Before he could even finish asking her the question he was roughly shoved aside and the shopkeeper took his place, glaring at him all the while.  "What are you doing, fool?! You're wasting all of our time with this prattle! Just get out of here - I told you to move this week's rare stock up front, go do that instead."

The boy was out of there faster than any getaway Rosalyn had ever made. "That wasn't very nice," she said snidely, watching the poor kid run.

The shopkeeper gave her a very hard look. Reluctantly, Rosalyn fought the urge to press the issue. She didn't come here to fight, after all.

"What do you want, young lady? Let me guess: you've got no weapon, so you must want a dagger or a shortsword, right? That's usually the kind of thing rogues like you work with."

Rosalyn's eyes shot open. "W-what? How did you know I was a thief? Is it because you're a-"

"No, it's not because I'm a mage. It's because I have a little thing called common sense. Try it sometime." Rosalyn stared, confused. The shopkeer groaned. "Look, you're in a weapon shop so you're obviously some kind of adventurer. But look at you: thin frame, leggy, obviously limber. And what're you wearing? A hooded cloak to hide your appearance, rather than ceremonially - but still tight around you and easy to drop just in case you need to be agile. And the clothes underneath - simple wear, yet treated to be tough, fitting and very quiet. And then there's the hair - a short-haired brunette like you? I admit I almost thought you were one of those ninjas." Again with the ninja stuff. Couldn't someone explain to her what the heck a ninja was? "You're at least better at this than some of the other girls I see out there calling themselves thieves these days: all chest with almost no clothing on and even less sense. Feh."

Despite the woman's horribly abrasive attitude, Rosalyn was very impressed. Not to mention nervous, as she really didn't want to give off the wrong impression. "You have to believe me, I'm not in here to rip you off or anything! I'm not that kind of-"

"Silence! You think I don't know you're on the up and up? You'd've been dust before we even had this conversation. I know the feel of a 'hero' when I see one - too polite, too patient to be a crook. A real criminal would've either made her move or tried to smooth-talk me by now. Feh. You're here to take out the Red Pirates, right? Shouldn't be too hard, even for what passes for heroes these days."

Rosalyn begged to differ (about the pirates, that is), but again just let it go. She wasn't here to fight anyone, let alone a merchant.

"So… um… about that sword. You wouldn't happen to have one I can use, eh? I've seen some of your other work, it's amazing."

"Hmph. The shield, you mean?" Rosalyn nodded excitedly. The shopkeep grunted. "That one's special. You might not want something in that style if you took the time to learn a bit more about it. And if you try to flatter me again, you'll regret it." The shopkeep grunted once again and she started walking away. Rosalyn had almost thought to take that as a "no" (or perhaps a "hell, no. Go away"), when she heard the woman mumble "I'll see what I can find. Don't go poking around." And just like that she was off, with Rosalyn reduced to waiting yet again.

Oddly used to this by now (at least she knew something was happening this time), she went back to watching the store - not that there was anything particularly interesting to watch, with the number of people in there. There was still no one else in the shop but her and and the two assistants, and she definitely didn't want to risk bringing the crabby old mage's wrath down on anyone by striking up a conversation or getting in the way of their work by poking around the new stock.

But they were still the most exciting things Rosalyn could find - at least without poking around. She decided not to dwell how depressing that was and resigned herself to what she thought would be a uneventful few minutes.

And uneventful it was: all the assistants were doing was bringing in crates of odd trinkets from the back. She watched them move a few large odd stone orbs up to one of the higher shelves and half-heartedly tried to guess what they could be (she figured they were ceremonial or something), but lost interest almost right away and let her eyes wander about the store (again, not that there was much else around to wander to). By the time she glanced back in their direction, they were finished with the orbs and were on to something else: the boy was helping the other assistant - a young woman around the same age - climb up a very rickety looking ladder to the top shelves.

Rosalyn didn't know what they were doing up there, but she caught their mistake just before they did: even with the boy holding it, the ladder was warping dangerously and was about to break at any moment! She shouted a warning an instant too late, just as the side of the ladder snapped in half. The female assistant fell back into the air and landed safely in her partner's arms (Rosalyn gave a quick sigh of relief), but that wasn't the end of it. In catching her, the boy stumbled back into the shelf behind him - where they had just put the stone orbs a minute ago. The shelf wobbled dangerously - just enough to get just one of the orbs rolling precariously over the edge.

Neither of the hapless workers noticed the ball of solid rock about to fall on their heads, but Rosalyn was already on the move. With the speed and agility that only the life of a master thief (if she does say so herself) could give, she closed the distance between them in seconds, leapt over the assistants' heads, grabbed the orb out of midair and rolled to the ground.

It was surprisingly light in her hands, especially for something made of solid rock. She didn't expect the lack of weight and ended up overcompensating and slipping to her knees (as smoothly as humanly possible, of course). She was starting to wonder if the falling stone would have even have hurt either of the kids, but hey - at least she stopped it from breaking.

Meanwhile, the assistants were gaping at her award-winning moves (amazing, she knew). She smiled in expectation of a happy wave of thanks (she would never admit it, but she did sometimes get the warm-fuzzies from that sort of thing) but just as they were opening their mouths to thank her the shopkeeper suddenly appeared at their shoulders, as if summoned. Unsurprisingly, she was upset.

"You idiots!" Never mind upset, Rosalyn was surprised she wasn't bursting into flame. She shouted so forcefully that even Rosalyn froze right in the middle of picking herself off the ground. "Do you know what those Atlantean Orbs of Contentment are worth? Far more than your pitiful lives, I'd wager!"

"You're welcome, by the way." Rosalyn scoffed, still crouching on her knees with the orb. The woman didn't even spare a look down at her.

"You're worthless! Both of you! I don't know why I even let you enter my store. To think I would be saddled every day with such utter morons! You can't even do a simple job right! Don't think you won't be punished for this! Why, if I didn't need another pair of hands around here I would be half tempted to-"

"Hey!" Rosalyn had had enough. So much for not starting a fight. "That's not fair! They're doing their best, bending over backwards for you! They made a mistake, but nothing was damaged and at least they're not hurt! And maybe if your equipment wasn't so old, this never would have happened! Get your head out your ass and let it go!"

You could hear a pin drop. The assistants gasped and slowly started backing away, and one look at the woman's reddening face told Rosalyn why. She had a split second to wonder if maybe her outburst wasn't the best idea, before…

"How dare you!" The shopkeeper screamed. "I don't have to deal with this. Worthless employees, so-called pirate queens making ridiculous demands, and now I have some upstart ninja talking back to me? I am officially done!"

Rosalyn scoffed, not the least because someone had once again called her a ninja and she still had no idea what that was. It took her a second to realize the what else the woman had just said. "Wait," she gasped, "what was that about the pirate qu-"

"I don't have time for this." The shopkeeper pointed a finger at her, and suddenly Rosalyn's whole world went blank. She stopped her question mid-sentence and froze in place, silent. She was still crouching on the ground, having never thought to stand, and now she wouldn't. Not unless the shopkeeper asked her to.

"Give me the orb," The woman ordered. Rosalyn obediently raised her arm and handed the ball over to her. After the shopkeeper took it her arm continued to any there, waiting for further instructions.

The mage chuckled, clearly enjoying lording over her mouthy customer. If she could, Rosalyn might have wondered if this sort of thing happened often. "Not so feisty now, eh brat?" The shopkeeper barked. "Lay down on the ground!" Rosalyn did so, giving no resistance whatsoever. She fell backwards serenely, staring listlessly into the ceiling with not a trace of a reaction behind her wide eyes - not even fear. The assistants shared a nervous glance.

"My Lady! No!" The girl pleaded. Her boss silenced her with a glare and leered down at her victim.

"This'll teach you some respect. Or it would have, if you weren't in this situation. "Gladius Mutatio!"

The woman made an odd gesture and Rosalyn body shuddered from head to toe. The assistants shivered too, for it was too late to save the soon to be ex-adventurer now.

Guided by the shopkeepers magic, Rosalyn began to pose herself - if she were still able, she might've protested the lack of control or at least made a seriously scathing comment about the indignity of it all. In the absence of such freedom, however, she clasped her hands together over her chest, pushing out her elbows so that they stuck out from either side. Likewise, she stuck her legs out straight and parallel, tipping her toes so her feet pressed against each other. She resembled a human cross. And with that out of the way, she began to change.

Her hands pressed ever tighter together until the spaces between her fingers lost form and melded together. In the process, they slowly changed colors to a hard, silvery grey, and the space between her arms and her chest became slim. The assistants gaped in horror as her upper features began to melt away, before an audible sound of ripping pants and cracking shoes made it clear the same thing was happening to her legs. The shopkeeper jumped. "Oops," she mumbled. For a second, she seemed almost sheepish. It didn't last. "Forgot her clothes."

The shopkeeper made another gesture and Rosalyn's clothes disconnected and reshuffled around her, though at the moment they were merely left lying like blankets to cover everything below her bosom. All the while Rosalyn continued to change, and as she did so she shrank into what was left of her robes: twisting and looping and becoming more and more metallic until she sank under beneath her coverings and disappeared from view… though she still made a visible lump under the robes, becoming smaller and smaller before the changes finally ceased.

The shopkeeper waited until she was sure the ex-thief was done changing before gesturing a third and final time. Rosalyn's clothes flew into action and wrapped around themselves tighter and tighter until they fused into a hard but lightweight leather. Like their former wearer they too shrank, fitting her new form more and more until she was finally visible again - though not as herself any longer.

On the floor where the intrepid adventurer had laid a minute before sat a short sword of exquisite quality. The hilt - where her arms had come together - was beautiful, with ornate loops, symbols and other flourishes, yet one could tell just by looking at it that it was still strong and dependable. Her former clothes had become a scabbard: effective and not-at-all flashy, just like the kind of clothes Rosalyn had preferred as a human being. The shopkeeper picked up the sword and tested its weight, smirking. Apparently liking what she felt, she pulled tout the sheath to admire the blade - which was of the same perfect quality as the hilt. The window light glinted off of its curved edge, which only one who knew of this weapon's origin would recognize as having a slight hourglass shape. All in all it would be an excellent ware were the shopkeep inclined to put in on her shelves.

"There!" She declared, in the middle of giving the sword one last once over. "One short sword, perfect for any thief: ex or otherwise." She laughed coldly and jammed the sword back into its scabbard. "If only there were a thief here to claim it…"

"You!" Her harsh attitude suddenly returned and she snapped back to her assistants, who each tried to hide behind the other at the same time and thus nearly fell onto the floor. She rolled her eyes and tossed the sword at them. The male assistant just barely caught it, and the two looked in confusion from it to their boss. "Take this to the girl's party. Tell her she ordered a sword and never came back for it. If I know my adventurers, they'll probably assume the Red Pirates launched a pre-emptive strike and go galavanting off after them in a misguided attempt at rescuing her - and don't even think about screwing up and letting them on to the truth!" Her eyes flashed. The assistants huddled together in fear. "Or else you'll get worse than she did! Last thing I need is a bunch of would-be heroes carrying on and smashing up my store…"

The assistants gulped. Unfortunately for them, while this sort of thing didn't happen a lot they were at least used to it. "Y-yes ma'am."

"After that, you two will accompany them to the pirates' hideout for a little product acquisition."

This, on the other hand, they were not used to. "Their hideout?" The boy choked. The girl looked as though she were about to have a heart attack. "B-but… er… how would we ever find it?"

The shopkeeper pointed to the shield on the wall, which zipped off of its display and flew into the arms of the female assistant - who stopped swooning just in time to keep it from falling. "Use this." She said, smirking at the shield - which had been on that wall ever since the one-time pirate queen had walked through the door, inexplicably drawn to the shop for reasons she would never get the chance to understand. "Red Mary may have been stupid enough to try and plunder one of my shipments, but this shield is 'smart' enough to lead you to her remaining companions. After that, do what comes natural - that is, fight back or get skewered by brigands. Whichever, really."

"But… but we don't know anything about adventuring!" The girl squeaked. The boy nodded in agreement.

The shopkeeper snorted. "Well it's about time you learned. I'm tired of having you two in here, messing everything up. It's time you made me some actual money."

To her surprise, the two shivered on the spot but held their ground. Apparently their fear of the dangers of pirates, monsters and all the other kinds of nastiness adventurers encounter overwhelmed their fear of her, which in her opinion was very annoying. "Look," she sighed. "I'll make you a deal. You two take these two weapons and join the adventurers when they storm the pirates. If you bring me back everything bit of pirate, and when they realize that their precious comrade isn't there I'll let you two join them in her place. As far as I'm concerned, your contracts will be up and you'll be free to go."

That got them moving.

The two shot out the door as fast as they could without tripping over themselves, no doubt to find the adventuring party, deliver the bad news and beg to be allowed to join up with them. It was no big loss, in her opinion. Sure she would miss the help around the store, but if they followed the orders she gave them then the profit would be more than worth their absence. And in any case they had been getting far too afraid of her to give her a competent days work - and they hadn't been all that competent to begin with.

She sighed - she had realized long ago that her temper could be terrifying at best, but decided it was better to let it out in small doses than pent it up and risk exploding (such incidents were far more trying to deal with). Still, it was bad news for whoever was unlucky enough to be on her bad side when she did vent a little, and in the pit of her heart felt a tiny bit sorry for the ex-thief - she may have overreacted just a tad. But in the end she didn't really care either way. At least she got that out of the way before the afternoon rush.

And so she shrugged and went back to work - with the store down one item and two clerks, inventory clearly wasn't going to finish itself any time soon…

A few days later the assistants came back in with a wheelbarrow full of pilfered pirate gold and announced that the adventurers were leaving on another quest (apparently they were off to search for Rosalyn, which the shopkeep thought was hilarious) with two of the most hopeful expressions the shopkeeper had ever seen. As a sign of respect for their valor, the party had reluctantly allowed them to hold onto the weapons they brought with them. The boy kept the sword that (as far as the adventurers knew) was meant for Rosalyn, and made up some excuse about always wanting to study the art of ninjustu (there was something funny about that, but the shopkeep didn't quite know why). Meanwhile the girl, still wielding the enchanted shield, was apparently on the fast track to becoming a barbarian. The shopkeeper thought they were both being silly, but wished them luck and let them leave. They tried not to look too ecstatic when they ran off (though the shopkeep was sure she heard cheering once they thought they were out of earshot), and that was that - the last they ever saw of each other.

For Rosalyn, or more accurately the sword formerly known as Rosalyn, the rest was simple. She - or it, depending on who you asked - continued to fight evil across the land, albeit in a very different capacity than before. Her friends never did find her, though they never quite gave up the search either, and their band's two newest members weren't about to talk any time soon - either for fear of their new comrades or their old boss. And as the time passed the two became full-fledged members of the group, and with her help Rosalyn's wielder went from cowardly kid to (self-proclaimed) master of stealth and expert (very self-proclaimed) ninja, renowned all across the land.

Rosalyn never did get a chance to appreciate the irony, but at least the next time she had to behead a golem (this time as the too-tiny sword, of course), it didn't end with a broken blade and an aggravating trip to the store. At the very least, she couldn't have faulted the old mage for her craftsmanship…


The Valentine's Dance of Doom - TG

Throwing caution to the wind, Sean threw open the dance hall doors and barged into the event in progress with all the subtlety of an earthquake, paying not a whit of attention to the gapes and stares he and his friend were getting from the party-goers inside (and there were quite of few of them, more than he had realized). Awkward moments didn't bother him even in normal circumstances, so he didn't mind having a crowd see him while he was on a mission: he wasn't here to have fun today, least of all with anyone at this Valentine's Day Dance of Darkness. Not if he could help it.

Now if only he could get his one-man peanut gallery to stay on the same page.

"Look." He heard behind him, and Sean groaned as Walker felt the need to comment yet again. "I know we're here for a reason and I'm not saying we should just let Vic get away with all this, but can't we mingle just a little? It's Valentine's Day, what's the harm in having a little fun! I mean, look:" He gestured to a slim dark-skinned young woman in a long, tight dress, who was chatting with a group of her friends. As if sensing their attention, she glanced over their way and winked. "Look at Kendall Manson! She cleaned up nice and everything, and she never-"

"- exactly! She doesn't! 'She' never did! Don't you remember?" Sean scoffed. "Kendall should be the first example for why we can't just have fun! The same thing that happened to her happened all across campus: half the poor people in here are probably our friends, Woody!"

Woody scratched the back of his head. "I mean… yeah… when you put it like that… but there's punch! And dancing! And a couple's contest! We could win it!"

"With what dates?"

"I… hm… good point..."

Sean sighed a long suffering sigh and scanned the room for an office of some kind. It didn't take him long to spot a back room behind the stage, probably used as a lounge. Bingo. "Let's just come on. The sooner we confront Vic, the sooner we can fix this and move on. Maybe then we can enjoy ourselves…"

Woody swallowed a groan. It really wasn't as if he was more interested in girls than the fates of his classmates, it was just… eh, whatever. Maybe he would get a date some other time.

"Yeah, alright…"

Meanwhile, in the very lounge the two were heading towards the very Victor they were looking for happened to be laying in plain sight, basking in his success. Well, that and enjoying a five minute break chatting it up with his "assistant." Most who met them saw Edgar as a hulking simpleton of few words who blindly trailed behind wherever Victor went. Most people also thought Victor was a charming jock who could do no wrong. Most people didn't really know either of them.

"I have to admit, Vic, that when you told me of this idea I thought you had finally lost it. Even now, the plan is a little… shall we say… difficult to wrap one's head around."

"All it takes is a keen mind and a dream, bud." Vic said. His eyes were closed, and a smug smile was very firmly plastered on his face. "Though if you happen to find a book of spells at a flea market, that don't hurt much either."

"You said it, my man." All at once Edgar couldn't keep his chuckles in, and soon they were both laughing together. "Though I'm a little concerned about what we had to do to get this whole event going," he continued, in the middle of an attempt to get his laughter under control. "I do feel bad about how many of those guys out there we had to change - and we had a lot more success than I was expecting."

"Eh, stop worrying. It's not really hurting anyone and they don't seem to mind, so who cares?"

"I can think of at least two people…"

Vic shot to his feet and turned around to find Sean and Walker standing behind him: Sean with his arms crossed and a hard look etched into his face, and Walker looking extremely restless. Vic grinned in hope that the two hadn't heard too much, though since there was little chance anyone out there would even believe his scheme let alone know much about it, he wasn't too worried.

"Oh, hey guys. Enjoying the party? Kick back, have a bee-"

"Shove it, Vic. I know everything."

"Um… what?"

"Don't play dumb. Or do I have to mention that I saw Ken Manson and the rest of his team standing right next door sporting a whole new look? Dresses, skirts and breasts to match? Pretty odd that the group that won the men's relay at the last state olympics could suddenly fit into all that so well. I never would have recognized them if I didn't already know."

"They pull it off surprisingly well too, if you know what I mean." Woody chimed in, earning a nervous laugh from Edgar. Sean groaned and slapped his forehead. "Not to mention what happened to Amir from my Chem class - who knew, right? Man, does she have big t-"

"Woody, please? I'm trying to make a point here."

While our heroes engaged in their usual annoyed banter, Vic and Edgar were reeling from full-scale surprise. "W-wait, you remember them? I mean, of course you remember… but you're not supposed to be thinking about… uh oh…"

Sean chuckled, but it was a very cold chuckle. "Uh oh is right. That was a real powerful spell for an amateur, Vic."

"Spell? What spell? I… ah, the heck with it." Vic sighed and waved dismissively. So he was found out. It figured, really. "How did you find out?"

"I ran into Ken the day you started up registration for this little charade. Right outside the room you were using, in fact. We're not good friends or anything, so we just said hello and went our separate ways. He went in to see what you were up to. A couple minutes, out walked a woman who looked like she could've been Ken's sister. She even waved at me like she knew me. I was stumped at first, but it doesn't take long to figure out: man walks in, woman walks out, man is nowhere to be seen. I can do the math."

Vic gulped. He kept glancing towards the door, clearly wondering if he could make a break for it. Meanwhile, Edgar decided this conversation was quickly going to get into territory he wasn't too knowledgeable of and started ignoring it in favor of a game on his phone. Woody inched over to take a look, though about as nonchalantly as he could manage without Sean noticing and getting on his case.

Vic tried to smooth things over… though the look on Sean's face would make it obvious to anybody that this wasn't going to work.

"Damn… ok, like I said when you walked in: nobody's getting hurt here. I didn't even alter reality or anything crazy like that - and I could have. You know I could. Everyone still remembers Ken Manson, for example - except Kendall herself, that is. It's just that nobody really finds it odd that he hasn't been around for a while or that there's a girl with the same last name attending school in his place, living in his dorm and replacing him in all the school records - even though this is an all-male university. They just don't think about it. It was a pretty neat find, that memory spell. I'm a little confused as to why it didn't effect you, though."

Despite being found out, Vic actually looked impressed. For a man who had been caught red handed he was more intrigued than anxious.

Sean glared at him. He didn't really understand Vic's curiosity (he didn't want to understand anything that went through his head right now) and didn't really care. This wasn't about showing off how much they knew about magic. "I've been around magic my whole life, I think I can see through a simple memory spell if I want to."

"Wait, you're…"

"My family are all mages. Not me, but I picked up on a few things." Sean made sure his dislike was as obvious as possible. Over the years he had seen a lot, and most of it wasn't anything he'd be proud enough to tell a friend about, let alone Vic. "A lot of them are like you: they think they can do whatever they want and mess with other people's lives just because they have a little bit of power, but the difference is all of them have years of experience. So compared to them, I'm ready for anything."

"'Mess with other people's…' what?" Vic was taken aback. His almost offended expression might have made Sean second guess his accusation if he was in the mood to reconsider, which he was definitely not. "Look, man. You've got the wrong idea. This is all temporary!"

"Temporary? Really? Seems like a lot of work for something that'll just wear off."

"I'm serious. You don't think I'd screw with people's lives and leave 'em that way, did you? I know most of these guys… girls… you know what I mean. Some of them are good friends of mine. Trust me, all the lovely ladies out there who weren't originally that way will turn back at approximately… 5PM Sunday. Well… probably. Unless they happen to hit it off with someone at the party. Then it lasts as long as the fling does. Valentine's Day magic, and all. The book calls it the "true love's twist" or something. But I swear that only a side-effect. It really is supposed to be as temporary as possible. And it's for a good cause!"

Sean felt the strong urge to smack his face again. It took him a moment to force it down. "A good cause."

Vic ran his hand through his hair, a bit nervous. He hadn't really thought to share his vision with anyone yet, besides Edgar that is, and this was already an awkward situation. "Do you know how tired I am of going to an all-boys college? Do you know how old fashioned that is? To get a decent date in this town we have to either go into the city or drive an hour to the all-girls school in the next county!"

"So… that's your good cause? Easy dates?"

"Well… yeah… but don't you think we should be moving forward into the 21st century, regardless? Thanks to me, we've got dozens of women on the student roster that by all accounts shouldn't be there. It's not like this is a particularly big school - just this party might have shaken things up enough to work. In the confusion, I'm guessing a petition to finally make this place coed will breeze right on through, just to make things easier."

"Seriously? You turned a quarter of the school into girls all so you can petition to make this a coed school? All so you can get laid? Do you know how messed up that is?!"

"And some of the faculty… and I'm not quite the "love 'em and leave 'em" sort… entirely… er… but I did mention this is all temporary, right?"

"That is, for all those girls out there who happen to avoid getting into a relationship at a Valentine's Day dance. I just want you to know that I'm heavily suppressing the urge to kick your ass right now."

Vic smiled. "Look, think of this as an opportunity. How often do you get the chance to check out how your buds would look like as babes? I know I've been enjoying it. I mean, Kendall Manson in a no-brainer. Did you see those track-team legs in that dress? I mean, dayum!" Sean blushed a bit, causing Vic to grin wider. "See? You know what I'm talkin' about. Now imagine being able to see that all the time, when we have a women's team!"

Sean's twitched. He didn't have time for this. "She - I mean he's not supposed to look like that. He's not supposed to be a woman. None of them are. And you are going to turn them all back. Right now."

"Sorry. Can't. The spell is temporary, but I can't reverse it. It's just gonna have to run its course."

Sean threw his hands up into the air, as if to ask the heavens if this was seriously happening. "I can't believe this. Really?! An irreversible spell? Are you nuts?!" Vic just shrugged, which made Sean even angrier. "I suppose it'd be useless to try my own amateur reversal spell - guess that saved me the risk of accidentally blowing myself up. I would so hate to waste one of your tickets, Vic," He threw Vic a very dirty look. Vic just blinked, "but I think I'm going to go try regardless. Guess you got your wish, Woody - you staying or going? I'm going to go call my aunt and see if she'll lend me a spell book. In the meantime, you can do whatever you want."

By now, Woody had inched all the way over to Edgar's shoulder where he was cheering him on through the last level of whatever game he was playing. At the sound of his name, he looked up. "Huh?" When he saw the weary look Sean was shooting him he quickly sidled back over to his friend's side, with the hope that all would be forgotten in a moment. "Um… yeah. Sorry the whole 'thwart the evil plan' thing went sour for now, but how often do you get to see a party full of hot girls around here?"

Sean rolled his eyes. Vic, however, looked very interested.

"Wait… you both have tickets? I thought you just crashed the party." The beginnings of a smile began to play on Vic's lips, and Edgar finally looked up from his game. Neither Sean nor Woody seemed to notice.

"Please don't remind me that I actually paid you money to be here." Sean groaned.

"No, it's just that the actual transformation spell is on every thing I sent out - the sign-up sheet, the tickets, the ads, etc. Once you sign up to go, it picks whether or not you change or not at random, but if you don't it's still there lying dormant. And if it didn't activate, I can do it myself if I need to. Which I will, since I'm starting to think you really need to start enjoying this party, buddy. That, and I'm curious what you might look like…"

"What?" Woody reached into his pocket to grab his ticket - if he had more time, he might've seen it start to glow. Vic threw up his hands in what Sean immediately realized was a magic gesture, and Edgar quickly darted back over to a good spot to watch the fun. It was too late to stop now.

Sean slapped his forehead. Again. "Oh… perfect."

The changes were very quick: Sean felt himself shrink all over, though not as much as he expected. His whole body slimmed - especially his waist, and he felt an ominous sensation between his hips. But before he could dwell on that unpleasantness, the next phase kicked in and his… "her" new bosom and hips flared out, painfully straining the still male clothes he was wearing… at least in the instant before they started changing as well. He resisted the urge to cry out in embarrassment as his slacks fused together and shrunk upwards. They settled around "her" (in her opinion) too-wide hips as a (also in her opinion) too-short skirt. Luckily the top wasn't too revealing, if a little too tight around "her" chest for Sean's taste. His socks stretched up to just past her knee but thankfully didn't change further… which is the least he could say about the heels "she" was now wearing.

Lastly, he reached back and felt that his once-short hair had rearranged itself into a bushy ponytail. Wincing, he glanced over to his friend to assess the damage on that end.

Woody had ended up even slimmer: she was very petite - several heads shorter than she had been before, and even shorter than Sean was now. But with that out of the way, she was much less visibly altered. Woody's already longish hair now settled slightly below her neck and seemed just a little straighter than before, but unlike Sean's total clothing rehaul Woody was dressed essentially the same: her casual jeans were now very tight, her t-shirt had changed color to a light blue and she was wearing a much smaller jacket, but that was about it. Her figure wasn't that pronounced to begin with, and Sean felt a bit jealous that even after the spell took full effect Woody wouldn't have to deal with self-consciousness with attire that he did… though who knew how either of them would feel after that happened (the fact that he was even thinking any of this in the first place bugged him quite a bit, as well).

For some reason, it seemed more customary to Sean that the lewd friend should end up as the more endowed one… though the thought made him feel a bit guilty.

Woody blinked in surprise… then smiled. "Hey Vic, I just stopped in to say that this is a great party!" She grinned at the hosts, who both mirrored her expression back at her. Satisfied that they got the message she turned to Sean, who was scowling - though she wasn't sure why. "Hey, Seneca," she started, missing the twitch her friend gave when she said the name. "I think I'm gonna go see if there's any guys left out there for the couples contest that those harpies haven't snapped up already. I'm totally going to win that trophy! You coming with?" She smiled, urging the (as far as she remembered) grumpier-than-usual coed to come and have fun with her.

Somehow, she missed the very angry expression on her friend's face - though to Sean's credit, when he spoke it was with a very controlled calm. "No, Win…" he paused in the middle of saying his friend's altered name, and winced again. "…nie. I'll be a second. I want to have a talk with Vic."

"Whatever." Winnie shrugged and grinned once again, much in the same way Woody had when he first saw all the women at the party. "I won't wait up. Ooh… I love Valentine's Day!"

She sped out the door, leaving "Seneca" alone with Vic and Edgar. Vic, who had been spending the previous exchange leering shamelessly at the two ladies' bodies, noticed the one that hadn't left glaring viciously at him and gulped. Whatever magical senses that allowed Sean to see through his spell in the first place was obviously allowing him to resist the effects on his memory - at least for the moment. Either that or… now that he thought about it, Sean looked very tense. Maybe his newfound rival was just holding on through sheer force of will. Either way, Vic took a step back.

None of them spoke for a long while (not that Edgar had said much throughout this conversation to begin with). Finally, Sean sighed and deflated in obvious resignation. He didn't know how He expected this to end, but it certainly wasn't with him falling into the same trap he had been trying to save the others from. But now that he had there wasn't much she could do any more. He had already led his best friend into the same peril, and without magic he couldn't resist Vic's enchantments for long. He could already feel the Valentine's spirit inching its way into his thoughts. "You said this is temporary?" He groaned wearily, eager to just get this over with.

"Yeah, no problem," Vic said honestly, and he crossed his heart for good measure. He had no reason to lie. "Scouts honor."

Sean rolled his eyes. "You're no scout, you louse." He sighed again. "But fine. Don't think this means you're off the hook, though. You're not going to get away with this. I'll make sure of it somehow." At least giving his last word on the subject had made him feel a little bit better about all this, which helped him take a deep breath and finally let himself relax. The effect hit him almost right away, so fast that she never realized it was starting…

"I guess I'm in the doghouse, eh?" Vic smirked lecherously. He was intending to make Sean uncomfortable as a joke, but the spell worked faster than even he had figured on - so far gone was his would-be thwarter that his bad sense of humor went entirely unnoticed. Sean's eyes shut almost on their own, as he had suddenly decided to rest his eyes. When she opened them, her expression was completely different: for one, it was a lot less stern and a whole lot more festive. Vic might have found the sudden tone shift a lot more impressive if he hadn't seen dozens of changes like this happen all week long, but it (among other things) was still it was a sight for sore eyes.

Meanwhile, she held onto the closest thing to her and shook her head to get the last of the cobwebs out. For a moment she was unsure of where she was, or perhaps she was unsure of why she was where she was (she wasn't sure, but she knew it was one of them… maybe), but that only lasted a short second before it all came back to her. It was then that Seneca realized the "closest thing to her" was Vic's shoulder, and she jumped back with a squeak.

"Uh oh," she said uneasily. Vic frowned - he hoped that the changeover had gone smoothly. None of the others had been any trouble, but then Sean had already shown he was unique. "When I came here, I never thought this would happen…" she said softly. She looked down at her hands, her expression unreadable. Vic, on the other hand, was clearly starting to panic. If Sean was still in there then this would be a really short party, and that meant the kibosh for all his best laid (if very selfish) plans. He took another step back, preparing to make a run for it if he had to (if he looked behind him, he might've been surprised to find that Edgar had already made it to the back exit when no one was looking), and carefully watched her expression for signs of anything… negative (blinding anger, righteous fury, general indignation, anything along those lines really). But to his pleasant surprise, when she looked up she was smiling just like Winnie. "… but I'm actually having fun! I mean, I haven't been here long, but everyone else is having a good time! Why shouldn't I? I mean, have you ever seen Kendall all made up like that? It's so weird!" Her small talk was a bit wasted on Vic at the moment, since he was mentally dancing a "job well done" jig, but she didn't seem to notice. "Would you believe I didn't want to come here at first?"

Vic smiled. "Well, I'm glad you're having fun!" He glanced down at the ticket still in his hand. "… Seneca. Let me know if you need anything." He winked at her, which was nothing unusual for a shameless lech like him. But when she winked back, that's when he started mental-jig-dancing again.

"Oh, I will. See you." She turned and gracefully walked out, giving Vic one last look over her shoulder… though just before she left, she felt a vague hint that maybe something was very wrong about all this. Something about being here with Winnie, batting eyes with Vic was… unsettling, but just for a moment. For a second she got a flash of her being there for some kind of mission, a mission that she had utterly failed in some way, but she couldn't put her finger on what that could possibly be (what kind of "mission" could a college student have at dance anyway, besides… well… dancing?) and after a moment she forgot all about it. It didn't matter, and as far as she was concerned the only mission she had tonight to find someone she could walk up on stage with, arm over arm… maybe she could ask Vic. Their talk seemed a bit awkward for some reason, but then awkward moments never bothered her...

As Seneca's doubts flew away and once his brain reattached (which in his case takes a while), Vic followed her to the door and watched as she reunited with Winnie. The two of them started talking about something or other, probably the couples' contest and how they were going to get eligible to win it. Out of the corner of her eye she must have noticed Vic looking, because she glanced his way and sent him another smile before turning back to her conversation. Vic was impressed. After using it all week, the spell could still leave him reeling… in any case, that was one problem thoroughly taken care of. Good riddance, for now anyway.

Though it also left him wondering. "Not bad. Not bad at all," he mused. In a moment Edgar was at his friend's shoulder, as if he had never even tried to skip out on him (which as far as Vic knew, he hadn't). "Say," Vic said. "Do you think it's poor form for me to ask her out after all of… that?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"But don't let that stop you," Edgar chuckled. "Go for it. You're a full fledged sorcerer or whatever now, right? You can do whatever you want."

"That I can… with limits, of course. It's no fun otherwise." Vic smirked. Tomorrow he hoped to put his master plan in action, he couldn't wait for this school to turn coed, but that could all wait until morning. Tonight, he thought as he watched the room full of eligible bachelorettes in front of him, was Valentine's Day, after all…
   

Fighting Like Animals - Animal TF

Erin hurried to her friends' shared apartment as fast as her beat-up old used car could take her, fully expecting to enter a war zone. At least, that's the impression she got from the rush of texts the two roommates had sent her just an hour ago. Her inbox was full of "I swear I'm going to strangle this so-called friend of yours"es and "that's it, I'm kicking her ass out"s, just like last week, and the week before, and every other week since the two moved in together.

Frankly, this was starting to get old.

Erin had known both Maribeth and Ginny for years. In fact, it was through her that the two were introduced. And yet despite being her best friends and knowing each other for most their lives, the two could just plain not get along. Arguments, insults - every once in a while she's even had to physically pull them apart. Erin was sure that, deep down, the two were at least fond of one another (but would never, ever admit it), but they were just so… different.

Maribeth was childish, easily distracted and a bit of a slob, but could always find focus in her enthusiasm for the strange and mystical. Erin, having dealt with it since they were kids, was used to just smiling and nodding whenever the girl went on her tangents about ancient curses, strange rituals and alleged (and usually fake) magical discoveries. But Ginny on the other hand was a dedicated intellectual, a skeptic and frankly a bit vain. They had met in high-school, and unlike Erin she had no patience for Maribeth's nuances or theories, and she wasn't shy about saying so.

A match made in heaven to be sure.

The two used to be fine with just trading barbs, but they both fell on hard times recently and needed places to stay. While everyone liked Erin's place, it was way too small even for just two people (which saved her the pain of having to choose between them), so the two begrudgingly decided to go halfsies on an apartment of their own - a nice place with two floors, two bathrooms and lots of space.

Clearly this was an incredibly stupid idea no matter how much space they had, but it was too late to do anything about it at this point. Now they fought over near everything: Ginny would get mad at Maribeth for not cleaning up after herself, Maribeth would get mad at Ginny for dismissing her interests, they would both get mad at each other for hogging some thing or another, etc. They fought so much that when they finally got tired of spending hours on end on sensible feuds, they would start grasping at straws and fight over what they would usually deride as petty stuff, like who was better looking and which of them was Erin's best friend. At which point Erin herself usually had to come in and bring them to their senses before one of them committed a felony or something.

So this was all pretty standard, not that Erin was happy about that. Yet even so, none of that could have prepared her for what she found when she opened their door.

It was even worse than she thought. It really was like a war zone: the stairs were trashed, the railing was knocked off of its base and was hanging on by a splinter and the walls were so dented you might've thought someone was throwing bowling balls at them. Downstairs everything was in disarray - broken vases, with dirt and plants tracked all over the floor in every direction, one of the windows was cracked, the doorknob was crushed by what looked like teeth… it was like a madhouse!

Erin forcefully pushed down to the urge to run away. Far away. "What. The hell! Happened here?" she shouted, but to her dismay no one answered her. Quickly becoming more worried than angry, she hurried inside and ran upstairs to her friends' rooms… to find things surprisingly neat. With the exception of the walls near the stairs, which were also dented, nothing up there was out of place. Erin noted how odd this was but decided to puzzle it out later.

She cautiously went for Maribeth's door first. Inside, it looked like a tornado had gone through it, but that was normal. Despite someone seemingly tearing (literally, it looked like) through Maribelle's rare book collection again, nothing was too disorganized and Maribelle was nowhere to be seen, so she went to Ginny's room instead… and right away, she found what she was looking for. The place was even more trashed than the downstairs, and while Ginny was suspiciously nowhere to be found Maribelle was laying nonchalantly on her bed, leafing through a huge book and listening to music.

"Maribelle! What happened! Are you alright?"

Maribelle barely glanced up from her book, but she grinned anyway and casually pulled her headphones off. Now Erin knew something was up: Mari was definitely way too calm for the scene that surrounded her. "Oh, hey Erin!" she said, irritatingly chipper. "Yeah, just trying to get some work done and enjoying the peace of quiet. You know I've got a final in a few days."

"Say what?"

"Yeah, I never knew how comfortable and relaxing Ginny's room was! Did you know her closet is bigger than mine? I could totally fit all of my junk in there once I take all her crap out." She lazily picked up a gag shirt with a mathematics pun on it from off the bead and gave it a half-glare. Clearly, she had already been rummaging around the closet. "Jeez, the girl had a chest some of us would kill for and she wasted it on nerd shirts. What a tool."

Erin scowled at the insults to her friend, her taste in shirts and "nerds" in general, but she pressed on. "… and what exactly happened to Ginny, Beth?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you. She's gone. I cursed her a few hours ago. Awesome, right?"

If that's what passed for an explanation these days, Erin was in the wrong reality. "Bwuh?"

"Yep! I finally found a spell book that actually works! Can you believe it?" She pointed to an ancient looking book stuffed underneath Ginny's pillow. "I, like, just got it at a flea store. I'm so excited - but as usual all Ginny wanted to do was call me gullible and rub all the fakes in my face. I told her this was the real deal, and she dared me to prove it. She asked for it! Really! So I picked a curse at random and cast it on her! Even I was surprised when it worked! But… don't tell her I said that, not that it would matter to her any more…"

"Don't kid around with me, Beth. You can't just make someone… go away."

Erin swore, if Beth didn't stop grinning like that… "Well, actually she didn't just disappear. She's just gone right now. The curse I used made her change into a horse, but I had to put her outside."

"That makes even less sense. You definitely can't turn a human being into an animal. That's impossible. What really happened?" Erin didn't bring up that she hadn't actually seen a horse outside, in part because she almost didn't want to know why.

"I figured you wouldn't believe me, so I took a pic. I'm so going to save this forever!" She fiddled around with her phone for a moment, and then handed it to Erin. Much as she didn't want to believe it, the photo on the screen was fairly definitive: there was Ginny, looking at her hands like she couldn't comprehend what she was looking at… or hooves, Erin corrected mentally, for they were definitely not hands any more. Her ears were long, furry and pointed, her golden blonde hair was looking kind of brown and her also-furry arms had a kind of extra bend to them, but other than that she looked almost normal - however Beth had done this, it had only just started.

It was really freaky - and apparently Ginny thought so too given the way her glasses were sliding off her face in shock. Erin could hardly believe what she was looking at herself, and she hadn't even been there.

It took her a moment to realize Maribeth was still gabbing away. "So anyway, it only took a few minutes or so but man was she panicking. She totally trashed her room - her fault, not mine. She was pretty pissed at me, that's for sure, but once the transformation started winding down she just went calm and started munching on those flowers her idiot boyfriend sent her last week."

Beth gestured to Ginny's desk, which was covered with half-eaten blossoms. Erin had no words - which was fine, because Beth had lots more. "So there I was looking at my now several hundred pound housemate and trying to figure out what to do next, when I thought: 'how can I make this even better?!' Then I thought of my pal Sheila. She's trying to be a jockey up at the horse track. I said to myself 'now there's a gal who'd be interested in her very own pony!' So I called her up and unloaded Ginny on her. Wasn't easy, either. You know what they say about getting horses down stairs? Totally true. Totally spooked her, and she ruined, like, the whole house. Dumb animals, what can you do right?"

Maribeth was sporting a truly evil grin. It was the kind of smile she usually used when they were kids, and she had replaced someone's shampoo with glue or thought of a really good comeback, but this… this was different. "But it's worth it, cause now I've got a new room!" She leapt back onto Ginny's bed, laughing all the way.

That explained how the house got all messed up. Kind of. "You're telling me you found some way to turn our friend into an animal, and just sold her? What's wrong with you?"

"Sold her? What do you take me for, a creep? Nah, I gave her up free of charge."

"Not the point! I can't believe you would just get rid of Ginny like that, just because you had an argument! That's… that's evil! She had a life, you know! And she was your friend!"

"Really? Cause I could swear she hasn't had a job since she graduated. And she's not my friend. The way I see it she's better off this way - now she won't worry that smug little overstuffed head of hers about anything, all she has to do is run when they tell her, prance around for the kids and chow down on whatever it is they feed em' in those stables."

"Hay… or fodder. I dunno. And it's still horrible. You'd better reverse this, or I'll find some way to - unless you're going to get rid of me, too."

"Jeez, hold your horses - hehe - the spell isn't even permanent! Well, actually it is, but it's reversible. And I actually was planning on doing it…. eventually… I'm not a monster. But I'm going to keep her this way for a while. Maybe a week or so. Just long enough so that when she's human again she knows who's in charge from now on  and won't argue when I take her totally awesome room. Why else do you think I didn't sell her? You know I'm short on cash. But, it just wouldn't be fair to sell something you're planning on taking back." The way she said this, it almost sounded like she thought not selling a friend-turned-animal for cash made her a saint.

"I see. And I suppose you weren't aware that she has a job interview. A big one. With the university. Her dream job. Two days from now."

Maribeth froze mid-gloat. Erin wondered if perhaps she really had intended this as just a twisted prank after all. "I kind of forgot about that," she yawned, looking extremely unconcerned. Maybe not. "Eh, fine. If it means so much to you, we'll go pick her up first thing tomorrow. It's too late today, and I want to enjoy my new bed."

And as simply as that, Maribeth fell asleep against Ginny's expensive custom-made pillows and refused to budge for anything, leaving Erin alone to think about how totally insane her life had suddenly become. She glanced at the book Beth had left next to the bed - the spell book, obviously - and wondered for a moment whether she should just take it and try to fix this on her own… the thought of Ginny out there, not in her right mind, sleeping in a stable was not pleasant. But she knew a lot less about this kind of thing than Maribeth did, and unlike Beth Erin had a concept of why trying out insane stuff like that could just make everything worse.

Plus, it seemed like the problem would keep for now. She could at least let it wait until morning...

End